Saving Facebook from YOU!

Let me start by prefacing this article with a therapeutic moment. Stop what you are doing right now, run to the nearest mirror, look at yourself and repeat after me: “Get over yourself, everyone else has!” Ok, are you back yet? That wasn’t so bad now was it? Now that we have that out of the way, let us move on to some ways to help save Facebook from YOU. Enjoy this article and remember, it is not all about you…..but if it is…..get help. ;-)

Let’s start by stating the obvious; it’s not all about you! The makers of Facebook did not sit down at a computer one day and begin coding a program with you personally in mind. They had millions of people in mind. They had profit in mind. They had binary codes rambling around their heads that needed released and the only way to do that was by creating a website called Facebook. If they only had you in mind, they would not of had open registration. They would of called this site {insert your name here}book.com. Unless your name is Face, then the website is not about you.

With all that said, then you need to know that not everything on Facebook is directed at you. Quit taking everything you see personal. So what if your cow went wandering off of your farm, that doesn’t mean that someone was out to get you. Someone off’d you in Mafia Wars? It’s just a game! Someone status set you off? Did it have your name written on it? Were you tagged in it? I didn’t think so. It is not all about you!

Facebook does not revolve around you. It will survive without your every input. Photos will still be photos if they do not have your comments below them. Your friends will still go on living if your status is not on their newsfeed in the morning. Someone else will take up the slack in finding out what song they are or what President they resemble. Life will go on in the social network with or without you logged in. It does not revolve around you!

Since Facebook does not revolve around you, how about you spending some time connecting with those you are linked to. No, that does not mean pouring out your life woes onto them. It means shutting up, letting them speak and actually hearing what they have to say. It’s nothing personal, but they probably already know about the bunion on your big toe and don’t need to be reminded of it or how you are coping with it. How about stopping to find out how their day was. How about actually processing their comment in your head before you respond? How about telling them you appreciate them, which leads us to the next point of saving Facebook from you.

I call this point, ‘one upping.’ One upping is when you feel the need to be better than the other person. It is when you need to comment on everything they say with something that will ‘top’ their comment. One upping deals with a deeper psychological problem that this article will not dive into, but then again, being stuck on oneself does fall into that category. You don’t need to be better than the people you are linked to. Notice what Facebook references those people as? Yep, they are called friends. Friends are not the enemy nor are they competition, they are your friends. Constantly trying to one up them will eventually get you de-friended.

Excuse me, your arrogance is showing. Yes, you! The one with the bright yellow hat on!(For those reading this that happen to actually be wearing a bright yellow hat, forgive me…ha!) To define arrogance for this article, we will state it as an attempt to show self-importance. Everybody wants to be loved. Everybody wants to feel important. However, constantly posting statuses or comments in an attempt to show others how important you are or to garner a crowd to pat you on the back is one way to let your arrogance show. It is an attempt to satisfy your constant need or desire of being loved or wanted. Quit trying so hard to have someone acknowledge your self perceived superiority. Let the pats on the back come naturally and when it does, do not let it go to your head.

Ok, now that all of that is out of the way, turn down your Ipod for a second and listen to yourself repeat these words, “Estoy Loco!” Come on, say it,”Estoy loco!” Admit it, you are crazy! Well, not THAT type of crazy. Not the padded cell, extra long sleeve white jacket with straps kind of crazy. I am talking about the type of crazy you need to survive yourself and for Facebook to survive you.
All that paranoia, all that judgmental thinking and all that overly critical analysis of everything written on Facebook is just you. It is your inability to let go and have a little fun. It is your denial of telling yourself estoy Loco! Yes, you are being crazy. You are being silly. You are one step away from being clinically defined….Doh!

There is something to be said about being loco though. When you are able to laugh at yourself, laugh at others and laugh at yourself again, you tend to lower your shield enough to let others know that you are human. You let others know that you are not trying to build a lofty position above them. You also begin to lose the paranoia that everyone on Facebook is out to judge and destroy you. When you learn to live, have fun and get a little loco, people begin to appreciate you more. They will begin to answer your chats again. They will send that cow back to your farm. They might even join you in your “Help this straightjacket is not in style” fanpage.

I have now succeeded in rambling for a good amount of time now but I hope something in here helps somebody out or in this case, helps us all out on Facebook. But if not….if you are still suffering from being a feminist or male chauvinist or feeling mighty superior, then take my next advice and do so immediately:

GO!

Well, don’t unlink from me or delete your Facebook page. I am saying, go as in, take a sabbatical. Log off. Get away from the computer. Live in reality. Realize that though the people on Facebook are your friends, you can also get out there in the real world and see real people and be paranoid about their every comment and facial expression. I am just kidding about that last part. Nobody in the real world is out to get you, unless, well, never mind. Ha!

Get outdoors. Enjoy nature. Look at accomplishments done by people other than you. Look at the landscape. Look at the sky. Feel the wind blow. Note that someone more superior than little you created that very breeze blowing on your face. Get out in the rain. Let it drench you. Make sure you don’t have your nose to lofty though, just saying.

Finally, the last thing on helping saving Facebook from you is for you to simply shut up. Yep, shut up. I will loosely paraphrase a quote by saying, If you have nothing good to say or if your comment is going to be an unwarranted thought that is all about you, then do everyone a favor and shut up. Ok, that was a little harsh. You can still post statuses saying you just stubbed your toe on the lazy dog in your living room. You can tell us you are drinking your fifth Starbucks of the day and you are hyper. But if you feel the need to one up someone or allow paranoia to cause you to react to someone else’s status, then the best advice is to just simply, shut up.

Are you alright? Did you make it this far in the article? You hate me yet? Don’t hate the messenger; hate the game you are playing inside your head. Do Facebook a favor and save it from you. Everybody will thank you for it and who knows, they might even create a fanpage or write your name in their farmville crop!
Have a great day doing whatever you do on Facebook!